A Return to the Homeland.

It is The second of April today, the beginning of the Easter Bank Holiday weekend. Which for some of us who come from Terminally Catholic backgrounds (myself being one of them) it is a sign that you should start feeling moderately guilty for all your sins (which if you are me are many and unforgivable) and do a quick trip to the shops, for emergency cards, chocolate eggs and suitable attire to wear to church.

I grew out of my 'Im catholic and care' shoes a very long time ago, and my parents seem to have accepted this with relative ease, so this Easter I am taking what can only be described as a brief rest before the last - and very short - leg of what has been a speedy three years.

Being back at home with my parents after living independantly for what will be nearly 4 and a half years is taking alot to get used to. Im used to living out of a bag, or surrounded by people who dont know me completely. Iv become introverted to some degree within my living space, if you were to look around the rest of the house the evidence of me being there is nonexistant. I appear to be trained to live in one room. I have no intention of changing that fact, as I think it will make it easier on my parents and their 'empty nest syndrome' when I move into my own place next year.

This break has also showed me that I am not actually very well. So doctors trips, and healthy eating and bedrest have become the focus of my day. Im living in pyjamas drinking tea, playing guitar,and getting back into my artwork. I am also contemplating baking as much cake as possible, so I have some sort of supply for when I go back to finish my degree. I have about 17 books to read and 10,000 words to write and Im not going to do that living on pasta and lettuce.

This blog was going to be a reflection on Easter time, and Catholicism and how it makes a person who doesnt beleive in organised religion feel. Im not athiest, I definitly have Faith although in what I as yet dont know.

In my personal experience the greatest thing that religion ever did was bring people together under one roof to share their appreciation and passion for life and the people they love, or at least that is how religion affected my family. But I do not think that a person should look to organised religion to be a provider of this way of acting and feeling.

There are many things out there that can do this, and as a girl who beleived herself to be Gay for most of her teenage years, alienating myself from the religion that I was indoctrinated with was first priority on my journey to claiming a sense of self. Searching for a place of acceptance was the second.

I also, after a fair bit of education decided that scientists were probably right and that the entire 'garden of eden' fiasco was not only utter and complete bollocks, but also fairly sexist and patriarchal.

So with this in mind, and with the catalogue of experiences I have, I am sticking my 'faith' to the rather generalised 'inherent goodness in people.' I also joke that I have faith in 'Life, the universe, and Everything' which probably suits it better.

So to celebrate Easter this year I am eating an entire terrys chocolate orange for breakfast, meeting all my friends in a pub and listening to their band play as I stand in my favourite high heels in a cloud of sweat and laughter, and I will remember that the only way we can save the world is by saving ourselves.