Party of One?

It is one of the most frequently mocked realities of a social situation; a woman gets up to go to the toilet, and immeadiately she either expects another woman to join her, or all the women decide they need to go. So women inevitabley end up waltzing off to pee in tribes, as if they all need to go together for moral support...or something.

I used to be one of these people. I never instigated the loo-gatherings but I was certainly one of the ones who got up to follow if anyone left.

Similarly I have noticed that no one ever turns up to a cafe, restaurant, bar, or club without having someone to meet, or a person with them. If they do show up alone they tend to hover, uncertainty and embarrassment etched across their faces, at the bar or counter. Or sitting alone their eyes constantly doing the needy flick around the room and towards the door in anticipation of someones arrival.

God forbid you show up anywhere alone, people stare at you as if you were a leper. So socially incapable that you have absolutly no friends.

If I am honest, I love being by myself. Shopping solo is best because I dont have to worry about who I am shopping with and when they want to leave or where they want to go next. But most significantly, I never feel the necessity to drag a girl to the toilet, and these days I never follow.

This all struck me with a good sharp crack last Monday night when, as I frantically got dressed for a night out, I realised I was constantly checking my phone for confirmation that people were out and doing something.

A singer was playing at a local club, I have loved him and his type of music for years, and had no idea anyone I knew liked him. All I knew was I wanted to drop in a catch his set, and then move on somewhere afterwards. So, without confirmation or contact from anyone I went out by myself.

Walking into the club was overall pretty liberating, and if I am honest listening to him play was even better. However I will never forget the looks I recieved off certain people - girls mainly, and the odd member of the bar- for not actually having a companion, nor giving a shit that I had one. To my surprise halfway through his set people I knew appeared at my side, I was chuffed that I had people to share the night with. But I know as I am sitting here and writing this that if they had not showed up I wouldnt have been bothered. Id have listened, finished my drink and gotten the last bus home for a comfy bed.

Somewhere along the line I feel like people have become needier. Maybe it is not even needyness that is the issue, maybe it is a deep insecurity. Maybe somewhere within certain people there is a need for them to not go out alone so that there is an affirmation that what they like, or are doing is considered worthy of a persons time and attention.

It really is just an observation but people should have more confidence in themselves. If you like something you like it. If you want to do something do it. Dont be chaperoned, and most especially dont take someone somewhere and share something with them if you think for one second their reactions and advice on the matter would make you ashamed of your passion. Because really, Fuck them if they dont like what you like they arnt you...

I saw Jonah Matranga this Monday night, and he was wonderful.