Music

As a child I was surrounded by music, my mother is a classical pianist and my brother a guitarist and I knew I loved the sound, the songs and words filled me with a feeling that I could not identify till years later.
It wasn't until I was a teenager that I suddenly realised how addictive music could be, and how it could become not just an interest but an obsession. That phase of my existence is a blur, but at some point in the blinding terror of puberty music became my life and since then I have never once looked back.
I first saw a live band play when I was 14, Green Day came to my local Arena and I went with a friend. We had obsessed and discussed the band for over a year and we made T shirts and got excited. In truth I had no idea what to expect, I was ignorant to what live music was like, Id never experienced anything like it before and in hindsight I wish I could relive that moment; when the band came on for a glimmering moment nothing felt real, and I didnt truly beleive that they existed. They were a mirage of sound and emotion and I will openly admit I passed out because of the blistering heat and effect the entire experience had on me.
It was glorious. In the coming years I was to spend all the money I made, and some that I borrowed from my brother, in seeing live music everywhere and anywhere. I dont exactly remember what made me keep the tickets. Part of me beleives that somehow I was creating my own private religion.
There is nothing like a room that pulsates with every beat, where with one voice the crowd scream back words that light them up and fill them with joy or rage, expressing something they had not, until that moment, been able to put into words. I imagine sometimes how unbleievable it must feel to hear the words of your soul sang back to you by a thousand faces all shouting as one.
I compare music to art and literature. When a musician writes down his honest, heartfelt lyrics and plays them into a song he is encapsulating in one heartbreaking melody his own life. Hate, Rage, Love, Pride, Hope, Faith....it all comes out and anyone who hears it experiences a snapshot of that persons soul.
I firmly beleive that all music that is written with honesty, and cathartic intentions with soul and passion should be appreciated. Even if I do not enjoy the melody I appreciate what is being sung and played, just as I appreciate books even if they are not well written, or Art that has been badly painted. If there is soul, emotion, and relevance somewhere in there of an experience that someone can relate to, then there is comfort to be had.

So I will go to all the live gigs I can afford and I will stand in a crowded room, silent, with my hand on my heart as it thunders in my chest and absorb all the melodies I can. I will listen, and feel, as many souls as I can for as long as I can. Because somewhere in there I know I am absorbing the essence of what it means to be alive.